For your listening pleasure...
I have a sometimes-friend who removed me from Facebook as her friend. I'm not sure how long ago she removed me. Was it today? Yesterday? It's not been that long since I was there. I'm not sure why she removed me. I don't know what is up with her or our "friendship". This past Friday, we went to a movie. I had plans all day on Saturday. I'm not sure what her plans were. Sunday when I passed her in the hall at church, I said "hello"; she turned her face away from me and TOTALLY ignored me.
At first about a year ago, we were fast friends. We could go hand out and do crazy things like the festival of colors. She is a rule breaker and a little unconventional. I'm pretty much a rule keeper and only somewhat unconventional. Unfortunately, over the course of the past year, I've learned that she is not a good confidant. Things that I've told her that were personal have been shared elsewhere or been brought out to tease and taunt me with. Lately, we seem to be friends whenever it is convenient for her or when she needs something. So I've held back my thoughts and feelings, not wanting to be hurt.
She is a psychology major and told me on Friday after the movie that I am passive-aggressive. I would agree with the passive part. I hate conflict. I would do just about anything to avoid conflict. But, I don't purposely try to hurt people or hurt their feelings or get back at them.
That sometimes does happen because I am clueless and basically a social idiot. I don't always think before I speak or act. Sometimes I don't fully think things through. There is an editing function missing.
Friday night she was whining about how she doesn't have any friends. I didn't gush all over her with how cool she is (which is what I think she wanted) and how she does too have friends. It kind of hurt my feelings that we were hanging out and all she could do is talk about how she doesn't have any friends. What was I, afterall? Apparantly not her friend.
For a while earlier in the year, she was hinting about wanting to move into my house with her kids. She so wanted to move from her current place, but still stay in our ward. I figured until she outright asked, I would just ignore the hints. I didn't think it would be good on our friendship. Also, it wouldn't be fair to me, to have to share my house with her and her teenage children. I would likely end up in the basement since there are only three bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs. She complains about everything, and I have had to take breaks from her because she sucks me into her dispair cycle. My depression cycles, but when she is depressed, she sinks me.
She is the kind of person who needs to consume every minute and second of someone's time. Texting and IMing and calling all day long. I'm the kind of person who can go a couple of days without talking to a friend and still be okay with that. I don't like to be smothered. I need my space and some "me" time. I need a lot of friends. I would like to find someone I can trust with my intimate thoughts and crazy, hairbrained ideas. Someone I can trust.
Things were okay, and we could at least go and have a lot of fun together before I went to camp. When I got back, I tried to get a hold of her. No returning of phone calls or text messages or emails. So I let her have some space. Then I tried reaching out to her again. BIG mistake. She posted a comment on my Facebook wall that I was funny because I was so hot and cold. It hurt my feelings. I deleted the comment and decided I wouldn't pursue that friendship any longer.
We saw each other in a couple of social settings between then and recently and at church sometimes. Then on Friday, she called wanting to hang out, to go to a movie, or whatever. I had planned to go home and go to bed because I have been sick. We went grocery shopping. Which was fine. I don't mind hanging out and doing mundane tasks like grocery shopping. Then we went to see Flyboys. After the movie, she drove home, told me goodnight and took off into her house. I wasn't even out of the car yet.
Even though it hurts my feelings that whatever problem we are having she decided to solve by snubbing me and removing me as a Facebook friend, it might be for the best. Right now I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle being her friend.
It truely bites that she is divorced and graduating from school and having a hard time finding a job. I totally get that. I feel for her. Welcome to life and reality. Single-hood is not glamourous. Single-parenthood is not easy. Life is hard. Get a grip and move on. I've been single for a very, very, very long time. You are preaching to the choir, baby!
Based on this weekend's behavior, I wonder who is the passive-aggressive though!
I have a sometimes-friend who removed me from Facebook as her friend. I'm not sure how long ago she removed me. Was it today? Yesterday? It's not been that long since I was there. I'm not sure why she removed me. I don't know what is up with her or our "friendship". This past Friday, we went to a movie. I had plans all day on Saturday. I'm not sure what her plans were. Sunday when I passed her in the hall at church, I said "hello"; she turned her face away from me and TOTALLY ignored me.At first about a year ago, we were fast friends. We could go hand out and do crazy things like the festival of colors. She is a rule breaker and a little unconventional. I'm pretty much a rule keeper and only somewhat unconventional. Unfortunately, over the course of the past year, I've learned that she is not a good confidant. Things that I've told her that were personal have been shared elsewhere or been brought out to tease and taunt me with. Lately, we seem to be friends whenever it is convenient for her or when she needs something. So I've held back my thoughts and feelings, not wanting to be hurt.
She is a psychology major and told me on Friday after the movie that I am passive-aggressive. I would agree with the passive part. I hate conflict. I would do just about anything to avoid conflict. But, I don't purposely try to hurt people or hurt their feelings or get back at them.
That sometimes does happen because I am clueless and basically a social idiot. I don't always think before I speak or act. Sometimes I don't fully think things through. There is an editing function missing.
Friday night she was whining about how she doesn't have any friends. I didn't gush all over her with how cool she is (which is what I think she wanted) and how she does too have friends. It kind of hurt my feelings that we were hanging out and all she could do is talk about how she doesn't have any friends. What was I, afterall? Apparantly not her friend.
For a while earlier in the year, she was hinting about wanting to move into my house with her kids. She so wanted to move from her current place, but still stay in our ward. I figured until she outright asked, I would just ignore the hints. I didn't think it would be good on our friendship. Also, it wouldn't be fair to me, to have to share my house with her and her teenage children. I would likely end up in the basement since there are only three bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs. She complains about everything, and I have had to take breaks from her because she sucks me into her dispair cycle. My depression cycles, but when she is depressed, she sinks me.
She is the kind of person who needs to consume every minute and second of someone's time. Texting and IMing and calling all day long. I'm the kind of person who can go a couple of days without talking to a friend and still be okay with that. I don't like to be smothered. I need my space and some "me" time. I need a lot of friends. I would like to find someone I can trust with my intimate thoughts and crazy, hairbrained ideas. Someone I can trust.
Things were okay, and we could at least go and have a lot of fun together before I went to camp. When I got back, I tried to get a hold of her. No returning of phone calls or text messages or emails. So I let her have some space. Then I tried reaching out to her again. BIG mistake. She posted a comment on my Facebook wall that I was funny because I was so hot and cold. It hurt my feelings. I deleted the comment and decided I wouldn't pursue that friendship any longer.
We saw each other in a couple of social settings between then and recently and at church sometimes. Then on Friday, she called wanting to hang out, to go to a movie, or whatever. I had planned to go home and go to bed because I have been sick. We went grocery shopping. Which was fine. I don't mind hanging out and doing mundane tasks like grocery shopping. Then we went to see Flyboys. After the movie, she drove home, told me goodnight and took off into her house. I wasn't even out of the car yet.
Even though it hurts my feelings that whatever problem we are having she decided to solve by snubbing me and removing me as a Facebook friend, it might be for the best. Right now I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle being her friend.
It truely bites that she is divorced and graduating from school and having a hard time finding a job. I totally get that. I feel for her. Welcome to life and reality. Single-hood is not glamourous. Single-parenthood is not easy. Life is hard. Get a grip and move on. I've been single for a very, very, very long time. You are preaching to the choir, baby!
Based on this weekend's behavior, I wonder who is the passive-aggressive though!
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